This week has been rougher than usual.
It’s been a week that I have truly just sat down and prayed about.
For those that know me, know I am not a super spiritual person, I believe in GOD, I consider myself to be a Christian, but my fear stops me from going further.
Let me backtrack. I went to Private School for 9 years (Elementary School/Jr. High) and while it definitely had its pros, its cons completely segregated me from attending church. I saw way too many people trying to be perfect, and not embracing who they really were, it was all a facade.
Sadly about 90% of the kids I went to school with completely rebelled and ended up getting into a lot of trouble in their adolescent years because of such restraint on them.
For me I lost sight of the relationship you can have with GOD, because of the atmosphere that I had always associated with God.
A couple years ago great friend of mine introduced me to a wonderful book, which really opened up my eyes more to fellowship, and the realization that you don’t have to be perfect to be connected to GOD.
Well any who….. back to my week.
This week really just brought everything into perspective for me.
We found out a couple weeks past that my little brother’s school would be shutting down.
Ryan goes to a school for children with Brain injuries (I will go into this another time, another post as it’s a looooong story but he has Epilepsy), well they no longer had the funds to keep the school up and running with the economy the way it is. So it has forced my mom to find other placement for him, right now she has visited several private schools and one public school in Orange County.
This is where the praying has come into play. I am terrified of this transition for him (He is 15 by the way)…& have always been super protective of him. This new environment for him really makes me nervous. Ryan is truly the best judge of character, you can learn so much of who someone is by the way they treat him. Sadly kids dont generally treats kids who are different very well, which is extremely upsetting. He has made me so proud of all that he has accomplished, and I just hope that pray that the kids that he comes into connect with have good hearts.
All I have been able to do is PRAY.
Even though my past relationship has been a bit strained with GOD, I just PRAY.
PRAY that God knows what is best, and has a plan for Ryan.
PRAY to one day (sooner than later) be apart of a church and have a relationship with GOD.
So please PRAY even if your struggling and trying to come to terms with GOD.
PRAY a lil prayer for Ryan.